Can our sense of spirituality be nurtured in psychotherapy sessions? Do spiritual beliefs have a place in developing insight and emotional authenticity? What about feeling our strongest emotions; anger, for instance? Does a spiritual practice, if we have one, require us to “turn the other cheek?”
My work as a psychotherapist gives me a privileged glimpse into peoples’ inner world. I have become the keeper of profound secrets that are revealed to no one else, of thoughts, feelings, past actions and current urges, both spoken and unspoken. I am a witness to unbreakable strength and glass-like fragility, at times within the same person.
Knowledge, education and training can provide much preparation for conducting psychotherapy, but my patients have taught me that the true work of healing comes not just from the mind but from the heart and soul.
Alongside other good and capable therapists, I’ve learned the art and science of behavioral change. I can speak easily of psychological armor, defense mechanisms, relationship dynamics, addiction, depression, anxiety, self-sabotage and so on. Yet, there is something in the mix when a person comes into my care that is a departure from the conventions of traditional psychotherapy. I want much more for my patients than symptom relief or remission from their pain. What I seek in our work together are these things, of course, but much, much more.
My own personal life and my work with probably a thousand patients in my private practice in Montclair, New Jersey and NYC has taught me something I could have never learned in graduate and post-graduate school: that healing is not something that I do to or for anyone, nor is it something that happens to the patient alone. Rather, it is an alchemy, a reciprocal transformation that takes each of our pain blocks and transmutes them into not just “non-pain” but something immeasurably more beautiful and sustaining: a deep and abiding knowing that there exists an Infinite Intelligence that not only lives within us but expresses Itself through us, AS us.
As a therapist and healer, I believe that I can take my patients only as far down the road of transformation as I have traveled myself.
For this reason, I feel strongly that I must continue to grow as a person and seek to always go beyond my limitations. The more I help myself, the more I am able to help my patients.
As I have navigated my flaws, foibles, missteps and messes along the way, I consulted with several excellent and good-hearted therapists who cared about me and my well-being. I learned from each of them and will forever be in their debt. It wasn’t until one of life’s twists (make that a dark night of the soul) brought me – quite surprisingly – to a spiritual center in North Jersey, however, that I had my awakening. It was my work and subsequently my deep friendship with Rev. Michelle Wadleigh, the Minister who runs the Center, that led me toward a path of greater wholeness (and holiness) than I could have imagined. Not a religious path, you see, but a sacred one. Not paved with rules, but with love. And not exclusive but welcoming to all.
Since then, my work with the individuals and couples who have honored me with their trust has never been the same. I now view fulfillment, meaning and purpose as accompaniments to good clinical outcomes. In fact, I believe that with the former comes the latter. I know this more and more because my patients tell me so.
Over the years, Rev. Michelle and I have had many deep conversations about the role of spirituality and psychotherapy. I love our talks. They stretch me, make me think, and can be very spirited!
If you would like to eavesdrop on our conversations, tune in Sunday nights at 9:pm, EST, beginning January 7th. Or, better yet, ask questions and comment! We’d love to know you’re listening so that we can create, with you, a podcast experience that may very well make your Sunday nights a little more peaceful and your Monday mornings a little brighter.
Join us, live. Sundays, 9:pm, EST, right here at: https://ntmedia.org
Home New