Today’s the Super Bowl.
That means kickoffs, handoffs, fumbles, interceptions, Hail Marys, and more. And of course, there’s the halftime show! It’s an exciting night for millions who enjoy the sport of football and are poised for the season finale to see which team will win the championship.
As everyone watching knows, every single player has a specific role that is integral to the success of their team.
Two players in particular are key to how their team performs: the quarterback and the wide receiver. The quarterback determines where and to whom the ball is passed. The wide receiver’s main objective is to catch the ball – completing the pass – and gain yardage. Without the catch, the pass is incomplete, and no field advance is made. It is the wide receiver’s ability to catch … to receive the quarterback’s passes, that makes big plays possible.
This got me thinking about the nature of receiving, the gracious art of “completing the pass,” and its importance in our lives.
Let me explain.
In every interaction, there’s a giver and a receiver. Whether engaging with a cashier or a spouse, we’re constantly making bids for connection and understanding.
Typically, the giver tends to experience a feeling of empowerment and purpose. How so? Givers are in control, initiating the act of giving. They’re prepared to share their thoughts, offer help, provide support, or give an actual gift. Givers, in fact, may even feel less stressed by virtue of shifting their focus away from their own problems and toward the needs of others. In this sense, givers generally have an easier time of it.
Receivers, on the other hand, can feel unprepared or awkward accepting the giver’s gift. It can feel like a surprise. Receivers may feel uncomfortable accepting gestures of kindness because they wonder if they can reciprocate well enough in the future. They can feel pressured to look happy so as not to disappoint the giver. Hence the saying, a biblical proverb, actually: “It is better to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35, King James Version).
Yet, there can be no givers without receivers. Each plays an equal part in this reciprocal interaction.
Interestingly, when we think of receiving, we may think of it as a passive act. But receiving is actually an active process that requires us to be present, aware, and engaged. It requires us to let go of our defenses, our fears, and our doubts, and to trust that we are worthy of having goodness, love, and support. Receiving is the act of being receptive and accepting.
In many ways, receiving is the opposite of what our culture values. We’re often encouraged to be self-sufficient, independent, and strong, to push through challenges on our own rather than ask for help. This excessive self-reliance can keep us safely cocooned in our own competence. That way, we don’t have to reach out and risk being rejected. But this cocoon also serves to keep love (help, compliments, support, even affection) out.
Simply put, receiving requires us to be vulnerable, to ask for or receive help, to let compliments or praise in, and acknowledge that we are not an island.
It asks us to consider just how much love we are willing to accept.
So, how can we cultivate the art of receiving in our own lives?
Here are a few tips:
* Practice saying Yes. When someone offers you help, support, or a gift, practice saying yes without hesitation or apology.
* Let go of guilt or embarrassment. Receiving is not a sign of weakness or dependency. It’s a sign of strength and self-awareness.
* Express gratitude. When you receive something, take a moment to express genuine gratitude. This helps to cultivate a sense of appreciation and openness. A simple, heartfelt “thank you” afterward is often the only reward the giver is looking for, if any. It’s a sign that their intangible but meaningful pass was completed.
So, some of you will enjoy the game tonight and some of you will skip it. Regardless, I invite you to reflect on the wide receiver and consider becoming one in your own life. Accept the goodness that comes your way.
Wait, … what’s that? You haven’t seen much goodness lately?
Then go in search of it. I promise if you look for it, you’ll spot it. You’ll see it in the person who holds the elevator door open for you, or lets you go ahead of them in line. It exists in the smile of a stranger or the “have a nice day” from the teller.
By receiving someone’s overture, you are giving back to them. You’re completing the pass. Your “thank you” circles back to the giver, honors that person and their gesture, and allows both of you a moment of shared connection.
ACCEPTING GRACIOUSLY IS, IN ITSELF, AN ACT OF GIVING
By cultivating the gracious art of receiving, we can open ourselves up to deeper, more meaningful experiences. We can learn to deepen our trust that we are worthy of receiving goodness and love, and that we are supported and uplifted by the people and world around us.
And isn’t this especially important in these times?
RECEIVE WIDELY, Friends. xo
